I’m a mad gossip. It drives my boyfriend mental. I’ll discuss everything with my babes. We’re just open and comfortable with each other and prefer to go beyond boring small talk and straight towards the sting of getting cum in your eye.
For my successfully single ladies – we talk dating, sex up the ass (out hole only) and navigating one night stands in ways that are both fulfilling and safe.
I was single for a long time and I understand that a girl has needs; she might not be in a relationship but her lady garden still needs to see some occasional sunlight.
I would never chastise myself or slut-shame a fellow sister for a one night romance. As long as the principle of ahimsa (cause no harm to yourself or others) is being strictly adhered to – I’m all up for sex with a nameless stranger.
I spent a lot of time observing the buying behaviour of the mostly male clientèle in my Dads sex shop. I found that the vast majority were usually polite and courteous family men who loved their partners but used porn to mitigate their now sexless relationships.
The sexual spark had long faded and whilst the love was still strong their chances of late night cuddles where slim. They didn’t want to have affairs, one night stands weren’t an option and they didn’t like the idea of seeing a prostitute – porn offered them just the right level of release, connection and helped ease the suffering of a completely sexless marriage.
If it’s the preferable option for a married man to watch porn rather than have affairs, why can’t single woman just have one night stands? I realise that I have a certain level of ingrained bias and a slightly skewed perspective due to my unconventional upbringing but the general conservatism and populist opinion on a woman’s sexuality is completely flawed.
We’re saturated with messages that woman who like the occasional romp are just drunk party girls with low self-esteem or daddy issues. I’m not saying that one night stands are a feminist issue but I’m tired of hearing these shallow diatribes about losing your sense of self-worth and feeling like a seedy slapper after a one night romance.
That does nothing to empower woman.
Woman are taught that their sexuality is a precious gift whilst men are told that sex is mostly a physical and almost emotionless act. No wonder we’re all fu*ked up and confused.
Sex between 2 or more consenting adults can be incredibly beneficial to the self-esteem of both men and woman. When practised with just a little self-awareness, it builds mutual feelings of connection, trust and pleasure. Sex isn’t love and it sure as hell doesn’t need to be a meaningful and intimate experience for it to be completely fulfilling and totally satisfying.